The Wilderness Cricket Match with Bearded Kitten

The Cricket with Bearded Kitten is a Wilderness classic. A fixture which has been a part of the show since the very beginning. The entire festival gathers to sprawl on the manicured grass and enjoy the spectacle. Over the years there have been green invasions, guest commentators, an endless parade of players in fancy dress and of course, the hundreds and hundreds of guaranteed streakers. Those who are feeling frisky may sign up to the team sheet at 9am sharp to challenge The Gentleman Wallops. Those who have witnessed it all before have come to expect the inspired commentary, dubious umpiring, inebriated batsman, kids performing unrepeatable cricketing feats and the feeling of the entire festival united in hilarity as the sun beats down.

We had a chat with Bearded Kitten's Timmy Sampson, chief comedy commentator and Wilderness pin-up: the man on the mic who makes it all happen…

Timmy! Thanks for taking time out to chat. Introduce yourself please - in commentator character or not.

I’m a very silly person that really loves cricket.

How long have you/Bearded Kitten been doing this?

Since Wilderness was invented. Thirteen long years ago!

Is there a fancy dress theme or team plan this year? I read something about Brits V the world?!

No idea! We tend to leave that to the last minute to see what bonkers thing happens next in little England.

Cricket highlights from years gone by? Any favourite memorable moments?

I genuinely love some of the epic cricketing moments, like when a 7-year-old hits the winning runs or takes a legendary diving catch. But nobody else cares about that so I’m gonna say Naked Nuns 2018, Naked Astronauts 2020 and Naked Liz Truss 2023. There was also a very surreal Napoleonic Battle pitch invasion one year which deserves a notable mention…

Intro the team please!

The team is:

Max. Head Groundsman, Chief Whip and All-Round legend.

Assorted Kittens: Basically, the London office; off the clock, on a mischief ticket.

The festival: we can’t do it without their support. They are our 12th man.

Have the Gentleman Wallops ever lost?

I have no idea. Nobody cares who wins or loses. You’re missing the point….

Final Question: tell me about the post-show Love Letters!

I can’t. My wife might read this.